Paraprosdokian sentences

A friend sent me this. Enjoy ….

A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to re-frame or re-interpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists.

  • I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
  • Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
  • I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
  • Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
  • The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list. [Continue Reading…]

Politicians

My friend, an Australian, sent me this joke. It’s about how politicians are inherently different from other citizens. I hope our politicians are still different. Different from the stereotype, that is.

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut.
After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied,
‘I cannot accept money from you, I’m doing community service
this week.’  The florist was pleased and left the shop.

When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there
was a ‘thank you’ card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay
his bill, the barber again replied, ‘I cannot accept money from
you , I’m doing community service this week.’ The cop was happy
and left the shop.

The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a
‘thank you’ card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Then a politician came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay
his bill, the barber again replied, ‘I can not accept money from
you. I’m doing community service this week.’ The politician was
very happy and left the shop.

The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a
dozen politicians lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference
between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.